Baby Base
by Nargalad
Summary: What happends when a mysterious virus comes on base and turns everyone but three people into babies? SamJonas AU
1. Do I look Younger?

SG-1's debrief after Jonas recovered from his brain surgery didn't go exactly as planned.

Jack was the last to wander in the conference room, but he reasoned that he wasn't late, he was fashionably late. "How is everyone this fine morning?" Jack asked as he plopped into a chair by Teal'c. The other members of SG-1, General Hammond and Janet Frasier all stared at him for a moment in disbelief. "What?" Jack asked.

"Are you feeling alright, Sir?" Sam questioned.

"Never better. Actually, I haven't felt this good for a long time. My knee doesn't even hurt, and it always hurts. I feel almost… younger. Do I look any younger to you?"

"Indeed not, O'Neill. You have progressed in aging as have all of us."

The debriefing started with Samantha's presentation on temporal mechanics and the uncertainty principal. Jonas was more confused than anyone even though he had lived what she was explaining and still couldn't understand Carter's techno-babble. To occupy his time, and to look like he was still paying attention, he concerned himself with counting Colonel O'Neill's grey hairs. He was still looking in the direction of where Sam was standing and she was none the wiser.

While Jonas was counting Jack's grey hairs – he was up to 109 – he witnessed a grey hair turn back to brown. Jonas shrugged it off as his eyes playing tricks on him. That is, until it happened again.

"Jonas, have you heard anything I've said?"

"Sorry Sam, but look." Jack was now rapidly looking younger and younger, and now Dr. Frasier, General Hammond and Daniel were also noticeably younger looking. After five minutes everyone in the room with the exception of Sam, Jonas and Teal'c, were infants.

Needless to say, the three remaining adults were shocked. Teal'c didn't look it, but he was just as confused as Sam and Jonas whose jaws were slightly dropped.

"Uh, Sam, could you please explain what just happened?"

Sam searched for any reason within her mind, "Well, it could be a sort of disease… oh my gosh…" She ran to the control room, stepping over babies and trying to keep them from pushing all the pretty buttons on the computers. The automated voice on the com system informed the base that a lockdown had been initiated.

Sam returned to the conference room. Baby Hammond and baby Frasier were content talking to each other in gibberish while sitting in one corner of the room. Baby Daniel was sitting on the table in the center of the room and held Sam's report upside-down trying to make heads or tails out of it. When he failed, he turned it sideways. Jonas and Teal'c were still trying to get baby Jack settled down, but nothing interested him enough to hold his attention. Sam picked up a small model airplane and handed it to him. The gift satisfied baby Jack enough and he settled down.

"How did you…?

"He likes plains, Jonas."

"Judging by your face, Major Carter, this is not an isolated incident." Teal'c observed.

"If all the babies in the control room mean anything, I suspect this has happened all over the base."

"Well, why did this happen and why didn't it happen to us?"

"Jonas, if I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be so confused right now because I don't know. I think what we need to do is first figure out what sets us apart from everyone else."

"I have a superior immune system resulting from my usage of tritonin."

"That's true, Teal'c, but that's because you used to carry a larval symbiote. Neither Sam nor I have carried one."

"That's not true. I carried Jolinar and she left a protein marker in my blood."

"If the protein markers are the case, then what about Dr. Frasier and Jack, didn't you inject them with some of the protein?"

"By now it would have been filtered out of their blood."

"So this is a disease that can't harm a Jaffa or Goa'uld physiology, but makes everyone else younger? If that's true, were do I fit in?"

"Think about it, Jonas, who was the last Goa'uld the captured us and what did she do?"

"Nirti. She did say I was different and I spent a lot more time in that machine than anyone of us. Could I be carrying the disease?"

"Sounds like the perfect plan. Nirti develops most likely a virus for you to carry and it infiltrates our base."

"But she's dead."

"What a way to go out with a bang. I'm pretty sure Teal'c and I can't even carry the virus – I'll do a few tests just to make sure – but it should be safe for us to go out and get some supplies that we need."

"What do you mean? We have enough food here to last us months, and you'll have thought of something by then. Whew! What is that terrible smell? Teal'c, do you smell that?"

"Indeed."

"We need diapers and lots of them. Daniel, stop looking so smug."

* * *

I hope you like it so far! Please r&r! I'll try to have the second chapter up soon. 


	2. Mess Hall

After checking herself and Teal'c for any signs of carrying the virus and not finding any, Sam took the base out of lockdown so they could get the supplies they need. Before leaving, Sam gave Jonas some helpful advice.

"Try to get all the babies together in a large room. The mess hall will have to work for now. I checked over the employment list and there were thirty-five people who reported in for work today including us."

"I'm sure that thirty-two babies will make the commissary into a mess hall. Please hurry back… I'm not that good with kids."

"You'll be fine. It's been my experience that one year olds tend to get into everything, so put everything that you don't want touched, shattered, eaten, deformed, discolored, or harmed in any way out of reach, keep doors shut, and whatever you do, keep them out of the gate room. SG-5 is due back from their humanitarian mission on P3X-454 tomorrow."

"Thanks Sam. I'll do my best."

"Major Carter, are you prepared to leave?"

"Yes, Teal'c, I'm coming."

"You may be ready to go, but I'm not sure I'm ready for you to go." When neither Sam, much less Teal'c answered, Jonas hurried to say, "I mean, uh, the babies. They're going to be a handful. I think I should start looking for them."

At the supermarket, Sam took out the checklist of what to buy and went over it with Teal'c.

"Diapers?"

"Indeed."

"Soft food?"

"Indeed."

"Pain killers?"

"Indeed."

"Miniature straight jackets?"

"No, Major Carter. Where would we find those?"

"I'm just kidding, Teal'c."

They went through the rest of the list and stepped in the checkout line with seven carts, mostly filled with diapers and toys much to the annoyance of the other customers.

The cashier looked questionably at the large amount of items and Sam promptly gave him an answer to his unspoken question. "It's for a baby drive." When she used an air force charge card, Sam saw he was confused, but she offered no other explanation since any thing she could have said would have just confused him even more.

Sam and Teal'c unloaded the carts into the truck-bed of the truck they borrowed from Jack.

"Have you ever raised a child before, Major Carter?"

"I've never been the one responsible for the raising, but I do have a niece and nephew that I used to play with when they were this young."

"Do you want to one day raise a child?"

"I'll let you know when this is over. What about you? What was it like raising Rya'c?"

"It was an experience like no other. There were times when it was more difficult than others, but the many enjoyable times made it a rewarding experience. When I became a father, I did not know exactly what to do, and though I am not done raising him, it is easier to be his father, and I would not trade it for anything."

"That's so sweet, Teal'c."

Meanwhile, back at the base…

"Oh no you don't… get back here!" Jonas called to baby Rush. "You may be cute when you're grown, but as a baby, you are really annoying." Baby rush looked at him with big eyes. "Okay… please go into the mess hall." The word 'mess' caught her attention, and she crawled out from under the table she was hiding under and let Jonas lead her to the mess hall.

"Thirty down, two to go." Jonas said to himself.

The last two were easy. Baby Siler and baby Walter were fighting over Siler's oversized wrench. When Jonas found them, they were both trying to take it, but even between them both, they couldn't pick it up. Jonas picked it up and dangled it so they would follow him all the way back to the commissary.

He set the wrench down on the floor and the battle for it began again. They were not going to heart each other, so Jonas didn't worry about it.

Jonas sighed when he looked at all the tables and chairs that needed to be moved.

"Need a hand there?"

Jonas jumped and turned around to see Sam standing there with a large bag on the floor beside her. Teal'c rounded the corner carrying two more large bags. He set them down and went to unload more bags.

"Teal'c said he'd get the rest of the bags so that I can help you here."

"Good. We can start with the diapers."

"Surprise, surprise… that's just what happens to be in this bag."

They laughed because they both knew it wasn't just a coincidence that she brought down diapers first.

"You take the girls, and I'll take to guys."

"Do you even know how to put on a diaper?"

"Show me once and I'm pretty sure I'll be able to."

Finally the diapers were done and the bags were unloaded from the truck. Sam finally had time to work on a vaccine for the virus so that when SG-5 returned they could help instead of becoming babies themselves. As for Jonas and Teal'c, they cleared away the tables and chairs from the now very messy hall. A line of tables were left set up along one wall half for diaper changing and half for meal times.

Next, Jonas came up with the idea of taking the kids to the gym on base to run out some of their energy. Meanwhile, Teal'c took sheets and mattresses from the on base living quarters and spread them on the floor of the commissary. He finished just as Jonas and the tired out one-year-olds came back.

"Well done, Jonas Quinn. I believe it is now time to prepare them for sleep."

"I hope so because I could sure use some myself. I'll find Sam and tell her to help us say good night."

"Very well."

"Jo-Jo" Baby Janet toddled over to Jonas and reached up for him to pick her up.

"Hey, doc, what's up?" Jonas picked baby Janet up and sat her on one arm, leaving the other momentarily free to open the door. "Do you know where we're going?"

Baby Janet pointed down the hall, "Sam."

Jonas' arm was getting tired, so he let baby Janet down and they walked to Sam's lab.

"Sam?"

"Hold on Jonas. Just give me another five minutes."

"Will you really be done in five minutes?"

"No. Okay, what do you want?" Sam relented and put down the data she was analyzing.

"It's time for some s-l-e-e-p."

"I can work longer. I'll be fine."

"Well, then I guess you'll have to hear it from the doctor." Jonas cleared a spot on Sam's desk and set baby Janet on it. "Doc, how important is sleep?"

"No sleep!" Baby Janet shook her head adamantly.

"Okay, then I guess I overrule the Doc on this one. Come on, off to bed."

"Fine. Hey Janet, do you want me to carry you?"

"No."

Jonas and Sam both took one of baby Janet's hands and helped her off the desk. They walked down the hall with baby Janet in the middle holding their hands. About halfway there, baby Janet put her hands together and let go so that Sam and Jonas were holding hands. When they attempted to let go, baby Janet only put them back together. Sam all of a sudden became self conscious. Jonas just smiled. Satisfied, baby Janet took Sam's free hand and they finished their walk to the commissary.

After putting the little rug rats to bed, Teal'c went back to his room to kelnoreem and requested to be called if he was needed.

Sam walked over to Jonas' mattress and sat down.

"So, did you figure out how to make the vaccine?"

"Yeah, actually, I did. It's actually a very simple virus…"

"Sam."

"Yeah?"

"I'm too tired for scientific explanations."

"Okay."

They sat there silently in the dimly lit commissary looking over the sleeping one year olds until Sam fell asleep on Jonas' shoulder

* * *

I want to thank everyone for the reviews! Without them I don't know if I'd post anymore. I'll try to have the third chapter up before I leave for NYC St. Louis. Please r&r!

Happy 4th of July everyone!


	3. Breakfast

"Good morning, Samantha!" Jonas rubbed his eyes tiredly as if he too was also waking up.

"'Morning, Jonas." Sam mumbled as she opened her eyes. Then, she realized she was not on the mattress she had selected as her own. "Oh…did I?... I didn't realize I was going to fall asleep…"

"It's alright. You were tired, I understand. Now, don't make to much noise; Most of the kids are still asleep." Jonas helped Sam up.

Sam smoothed out the wrinkled blue uniform she slept in and whispered, "I'll be in my lad if you need me. I have to finish that vaccine for SG-5 by 0900."

"Not until you've had some breakfast." Jonas pointed to the kitchen.

Sam checked her watch for the time. It was 0600. "Okay, maybe a quick breakfast." As Sam and Jonas walked to the kitchen, they were careful to not step on any of the kids who sprawled themselves all over the floor.

"Good morning, Major Carter." Teal'c greeted when she entered the kitchen. Teal'c was standing over a large pot of bubbling ooze which Sam figured was breakfast.

"Hi, Teal'c. What's for breakfast?"

"Oatmeal. The coffee will finish brewing momentarily."

"Oatmeal sounds delicious. I'll have a bowl."

Seeing that Sam was not afraid to eat the bubbling ooze, Jonas added, "And I'll have one as well." He then whispered to Teal'c, "It is good, right?"

Teal'c answered, "Indeed."

Teal'c then dished out two bowls, he had eaten earlier. Both Sam and Teal'c watched Jonas take a spoonful. A smile quickly spread over his face. "It's my first time eating oatmeal."

Jonas quickly downed his bowl and asked for seconds. Sam had hardly finished her second bite. "I just don't get it. Why one year old? Why not any other age?

"I don't know, Sam." Jonas sat down beside her.

"With the death of Nirrti, the reason may be impossible to determine."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Teal'c."

Jonas finished his second bowl of oatmeal and held it out towards Teal'c silently asking for thirds. Teal'c just shook his head slightly and Jonas withdrew his request.

Sam finished her oatmeal and walked out of the kitchen to go to her lab, grabbing a steaming cup of coffee on the way. Jonas watched her as she left and sighed quietly to himself as she walked out of the commissary doors.

"Why do you not inform her of your intentions, Jonas Quinn?" Teal'c handed Jonas a tray of filled bowls and took a second tray to carry himself.

"What? There's nothing to tell." Teal'c turned to face Jonas and looked him in the eye making Jonas relent. "Okay, okay… but it's not that simple."

"Well, the girls on Kelowna always expected me to be someone that I wasn't, so I'd play along. With Sam it's different, and it freaks me out."

After they set the food on the table, Teal'c and Jonas went back for more until they had enough to fees all the kids.

* * *

Back in her lab, Sam mumbled various techno-babble under her breath. After a successful test of the vaccine, she ran to the control room. Just as she entered, the dialing computer recognized SG-5's iris code. She opened the iris and SG-5 stepped through.

"Colonel Madison, have you and your team stay in the gate room." San said over the intercom. After closing the iris, the gate shut down and she ran to the gate room to administer the vaccine. Then they went to the conference room to debrief the current situation.

* * *

"Uh, Teal'c, how exactly do you feed one-year-olds?"

"The experience is not pleasant."

"So, what do we do? Give them all spoons and let them at it?"

"Indeed. Such course of action may be most efficient."

Spoons were passed out and Teal'c and Jonas helped the kids up on their seats. Jonas watched in utter disbelief. He never imagined such little people could create such a huge mess.

One the bowls were empty, even though there was no assurance of how much the kids actually ate, it became clean-up time.

"The clean up crew has arrived!" Sam announced as she and SG-5 walked in.

"Sam! Thank goodness!" Jonas exclaimed, but Sam was already teaching the kids the clean-up song.

"Clean-up, clean-up, everybody everywhere. Clean-up, clean-up, everybody do your share." Jonas just kind of looked at her, unsure of what to do. Sam laughed. "I find it usually helps when everyone is helping."

The little kids tried to sing the song as they washed their faces with damp cloths. The tune was distorted and not all the words were right, but Sam was confident that it got her point across.

* * *

Soooo sorry I didn't get this up earlier. Anyways, thank you for the reviews, I love them sooooo much! Hope you like this chapter and please please please R&R! 


	4. Movie time

For the first time that day, everything was in relative order. SG-5 took most of the kids, leaving the babies Daniel, Hammond, Janet, Walter, Siler, and Jack in the care of Jonas, Sam, and Teal'c. SG-1's smaller group would allow Sam to work on a solution to their problem. Because SG-1's group was so much smaller, they moved into a master suite, but would return to the commissary for meals.

"So, what do we do today?" Jonas carried baby Janet who would not leave his side ever since she woke up, and he sat on a couch.

"Something quiet, I have a terrible headache." Sam opened a bottle of aspirin and popped two in her mouth.

"That rules out going to the gym. Any ideas, Teal'c?"

"Perhaps a movie would suffice."

"Sounds good to me, any objections, Sam?"

"No, there's actually a movie I've been putting off watching. Maybe you can help me kill two birds with one stone and watch it."

"Where is it?"

"It's in my lab, just down the hall."

Sam ran to get the movie. When she came back, she handed the tape to Jonas who looked at it quizzically. "Uh, Sam, do you really think that the kids would really be interested in The Theories of Einstein on Quantum Mechanics?

"Okay, maybe I'll watch that on my own time. There should be some more movies in this cabinet."

"Perhaps Star Wars would be a suitable choice."

"Maybe, Teal'c, but let's keep looking." Sam had seen the trilogy more than she'd like to admit and didn't feel like watching it yet again.

"Is Star Wars anything like what we do?"

"No, Jonas, not at all."

"Oh, I jus figured because of the name…"

"Yeah, I know. Think the kids would like Barney?"

"Barney?"

"A big, purple dinosaur, Jonas Quinn."

"Uh, Sam, let's not. How about… the Wizard of Oz?"

"I believe that is a suitable program. Major Carter, what do you think?"

"Yeah, the Wizard of Oz it is, then."

While Teal'c got the movie ready, Sam rearranged the furniture in the spacious living room to make a mini movie theater, and Jonas did his best to momentarily entertain the kids.

When the movie started, everyone finally settled down to watch it. Sam and Jonas sat on opposite ends of the couch. Baby Janet laid against Jonas's free side. Sam held baby Daniel and baby Jack sat beside her. Teal'c, meanwhile, was more comfortable sitting on the floor with his back against a chair off to the side. Babies Walter and Hammond each climbed up on Teal'c's knees, while baby Siler sat triumphant on the oversized wrench.

When the Wicked Witch of the West said the infamous phrase, "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog to," baby Daniel started crying. To calm him down, Sam soothingly stroked his hair. Eventually, baby Daniel calmed down and crawled out of her lab to sit on the floor.

Baby Janet fell asleep, and Jonas agreed with baby Daniel that sitting cross-legged on the floor might actually be more comfortable at the moment. He eased the little sleeping girl off of him and onto the couch, and then he sat with baby Daniel. His back was against the couch directly in front of Sam who didn't realize Daniel had left her lap, so she absentmindedly started stroking Jonas's short hair.

It wasn't until Dorothy and Friends made it to the Emerald City that Sam finally realized what she was doing. At first her hand froze in mid-stroke. Then she slowly pulled her hand back and placed it beside her on the couch. Jonas let out a soft sigh of disappointment, but she couldn't tell if that was because she stopped, or because the door keeper denied access for entering the Emerald City to the four friends.

Sam could easily tell Jonas really like the movie. She, herself, kind of liked it. Though, since she had seen it a few times before, when her mind started wandering, she thought of flying monkeys and aerodynamics.

When the movie ended, Teal'c observed a pungent smell. "I believe these children need to be bathed. Perhaps we could take them to…"

"…the locker room showers!" Sam and Jonas exclaimed at the same time.

"Indeed"

While herding the children to the locker room, Jonas caught up with Sam. "You know, you give really good head massages."

Sam turned slightly red. "Daniel was crying and…" Quick thinking was a must for her job, and it saved her in this situation, but Sam still felt a bit embarrassed.

"No explanation needed," Jonas reassured her and flashed one of his brilliant smiles. "You were distracted."

"Yeah." Sam said quietly.

Jonas returned to the back of the group with Teal'c.

The group stopped at the elevator doors, waiting for them to open. When they did open, a group of ten kids and an adult stepped out. Captain Lanter and the remaining members of SG-1 had a hard time keeping their groups separate, but in the end, they succeeded.

"Going to the showers?" Lanter observed.

"I see we're not the first ones to think of it." Jonas answered.

"We're the last group. Lt. Kasey remembered the stash of small children's clothes in the level 10 storage room. We brought them all to the locker room. There's enough left for your group."

"Thank you." Sam mentally kicked herself for not thinking of what the kids would change into after the shower.

Jonas was confused. "Why are there children's clothes in this base?"

Sam and Lanter laughed and Sam said, "It was a joke, really. For a while, it seemed like we were dealing with a lot of kids, you know, Rya'c, Cassie, and so on. Granted, they were all over one year old, but one of the SFs brought in a bunch of little kids' clothes thinking that one day we'd need them."

"Well, good luck with the shower!" Captain Lanter and her kids left and the rest continued their trek to the showers. "Oh yeah, lunch will be ready at around 1300." Lanter called to the other group.

The shower consisted of six screaming kids, three adults trying to clean them, water, and soap suds. When the shower was over and the warm water turned off, the cold air hit the children and they snuggled gratefully into the warm, soft towels offered to them.

The clothes were found in neat stacks on the side of the room that had the least chance of getting wet. They were already separated into boys' and girls' clothes, so that made the task of dressing the kids a lot easier.

Baby Jack was a picky dresser and would only be satisfied with a small black shirt and green pants to go with it. Baby Daniel was less picky and ended up with what Sam thought was the cutest out fit in the bunch: A small kaki t-shirt that went with his sandy hair color just lovely, and black shorts. The babies Siler and Walter were dressed in similar blue shirts and pants. Baby Hammond got a white t-shirt and red shorts that looked absolutely comical compared to what he usually wears. Finally, baby Janet ended up wearing a light blue shirt, navy blue pants, and Sam added a long white jacket that fitted the one year old perfectly.

"Hungry?" Jonas asked baby Janet who pleaded him to carry her again. Baby Janet nodded fervently. "Good, 'cause it is lunch time!" Turning to Sam who agreed with Janet, he said, "Lead on, Sam!" trying to be as comical as he could for the amusement of the kids.

Sam laughed and opened the doors to go to lunch.

* * *

Thank you so much, again, for all the great reviews! I love reading every single one of them. :) Now is a great time to click on the shiny review button again. Soon I think I'll progress the Sam/Jonas line... 


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